When I lost my job last year I came home and said to my wife, ‘you have been home for the last 10 years…now it’s my turn.’ I was implying of course that it was her turn to get a 9-5 job while I took care of the kids. She naturally resented this statement and I agreed that from now on I’d say ‘I had it easy for ten years, now she gets to take a break while I stay home with the kids.’ Two are in Elementary School and the little one just turned 2. She laughed nervously and said no deal, but last week this is exactly what transpired as she was offered a full time job.
Being a Mom is all she ever wanted to do with her life. From an early age if you asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up she’d tell you, ‘a Mommy’ and for ten years she’s been just that. Needless to say this transition is going to be hard for her. Recently we’ve been going over all the things that will need to change and each one is harder for her to grasp. It’s not like she’s going to work in a coal mine. She will be working at the local hospital which fits right in with her one time goal of getting her nursing degree. Now she has her foot in the door and I can see her working there for the rest of her life in one job or another while piling on the degrees and changing roles.
The transition has been gradual since I’ve already been handling a lot of the day to day duties while she tends to her ill Father and other friends in crisis. Our parenting styles are very different which makes us a great team, but when the balance of power shifts completely it’s judgment time. Are my methods ‘better’ than hers or will I fail miserably? I used to come home to find the house a disaster, but the kids happy. Will we now have an orderly house and morose children?
We’re about to find out. Stay tuned.