SAHD Update

A few months ago we had a role reversal at our house.  My wife who had been home with the kids for the last 10+ years went back to work full-time and I became a Stay At Home Dad.  It’s been interesting to say the least.

Now she is starting to see how I felt being gone for most of the day and coming home to find unexpected things.  Little things really, but enough to scramble ones brain if you let them.  Is this basket of laundry clean or dirty?  Did they do their homework?  Who is this new kid at school they keep talking about?  The other day she said she felt out of the loop and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.  Not because I was glad, but because that’s how I used to feel.

That’s not to say we don’t communicate, we do.  She’s even home right after the kids so there’s no 4 hour lull like I used to have with my commute so she misses a lot less than I did.  She’s also learning what it’s like to come home exhausted and not wanting to deal with anything.  I on the other hand am learning that a day at home with a 2-year-old requires some amount of recovery time.  Sure she’s cute, but after a day spent chasing her one needs a bit of a break.

One issue has been the questioning.  My wife double checking everything.  Did you give them snack?  Did they write in their reading log?  Yes…I did all of those things just like I do every day.  I understand that she’s doing her best to stay in the aforementioned loop, but it can seem nagging at times.  Like she’s second guessing the whole situation.  Do I forget things sometimes? Sure I do, we all do.

I seem to rely less on other people than she did.  I’m not one to be Mr. Social so I spend most days alone with my daughter.  We try to go out every day to a playground, park farm, the library…anywhere.  I just don’t call 3 other Moms before I go.  If I run into them fine, I can chat if need be.

It’s very rare to see other Dads during the day and as a result I get a lot of kids that want to play with me at the playground.  Not to say that Moms don’t play…but more often than not they sit in groups and talk while I field requests to push other people’s’ kids on the swings.  I don’t think the Moms know quite what to think.  Am I a babysitter, a manny, home sick?  For that matter I don’t know if these are Moms, nanny’s or Grandma’s either so I guess we’re even, I just feel outnumbered.

Stay tuned…I have to go hunt for a 2-year-old, she’s quiet…TOO quiet.


About J

I am a happily married Father of three living in Westchester County New York.
This entry was posted in Kids, school, Stay at home Dad and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to SAHD Update

  1. Don Weeks says:

    Great post

    I can totally relate I have been at home for 8 years before it was cool. I got those looks trying to determine if I looked unemployed.

    The wife situation is normal as well and I do humor her as I know it must be hard to miss out on all things kid related.

    it sounds like you guys are handling it very well good job

    D Weeks

  2. billgary says:

    Nice post. A bit over a year ago, I became a stay at home dad during the day, grad student by night. My wife arrives home as I head out the door for classes. There are many days when I frankly question our sanity in creating this arrangement.

    Glad to hear I’m not alone in the joys and frustrations of being a SAHD. For men, work usually defines who we are and that was certainly the case with me. Am I alone in feeling lost without business cards?

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