Attention Scientists Of The World!
Stop looking for Quarks and Leptons. Stop trying to realize the intricacies of the Unified String Theory. I have a truly baffling phenomenon for you to tackle: The sleeping habits of children…
Sounds easy? You don’t have kids of your own, do you?
Why is it that my 2 year-old who fell asleep on the five-minute drive home from the playground cannot be roused enough to get out of the car under her own power? This is the same child who after sleeping on the couch for an hour or so wakes up the second she’s put down in her crib. Don’t even get me started on light sleepers vs. heavy sleepers. If I so much as creak a floorboard on my way to bed she’s up and crying, but no amount of screaming and yelling will wake her up in her car seat.
Let’s not forget about the ‘big’ kids. Why oh why are they so hard to rouse at 8:00AM on school days yet are up at 6:00AM on Saturday? Christmas Day, sure…snow day, fine…but we’re talking a regular run of the mill weekend with nothing planned. Today we had a two-hour delay for downed trees and they were up at 7:00, why?
It has nothing to do with how tired they are or when they went to bed. There’s no rhyme or reason. I think they do it just to screw with us.
Please write up a grant proposal and get on this right away. It will win you the Nobel Prize, I promise.