Selective Listening

My kids don’t listen to me.  My wife says they do, but I don’t believe it.  If they ARE listening to me and actually hearing me then they’re ignoring me…which come to think of it might be worse.  If only there were a way to know for sure.  This morning I think I came up with a solution.

Someone needs to create a fun kid friendly video game that parents can program with all of the rules of the house that get repeated 1,000 times a day.  Things like:

1. ‘Turn off the lights when you leave the room.’

2. ‘Flush the toilet after you poop.’

3. ‘Stop pummeling your brother.’

4. ‘Clean your room.’

That sort of thing.  These rules along with other random quotes will appear on the screen for the kids to shoot, capture, hit…you can choose your own level of violence depending on the age of your child.

There will be a points system and a reward can be earned for the once who can identify the most rules correctly.

This phenomenon also applies to visual selection of objects.  For example…go into the wasteland that is your child’s room and tell him or her to pick up all of any one item like cars or Legos.  They don’t have to clean the whole room, just identify that one item and pick all of them up.  After a few minutes they’ll wander out with one in hand and claim to be done, ‘I only saw one…here.’

Now take them to the nearest giant toy store and hide some of those same items on random shelves.  Tell them they can have all the cars or Legos they find that are out-of-place.  They will need more than one cart to carry them all.

Another one of the Great Mysteries of Parenting.




About J

I am a happily married Father of three living in Westchester County New York.
This entry was posted in Helpful Advice, Humor, Kids, learning, Play, rant and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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